A ranger at Yosemite National Park for 23 years, Shelton Johnson has a vivid, distinctive way with language – not a surprise given his training and experience as a writer and performer. During my time around him, I started a list of what I started calling β€œSheltonisms”; even he joined in, uttering something to an audience, then calling to me, β€œWrite that down.” Here’s the best of that collection:


Listen to Shelton Johnson

Dealing with the KKK at Great Basin NP.

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β€œThe most interesting people to talk to in the unemployment line are English majors.”

β€œIt takes a village to raise an idiot.”

β€œThe government needs applause.”

β€œI have to give a full and thorough answer to every question because I’m a federal employee.”

β€œI would like to have a flute from every culture on earth. That’s my goal. It’s a very disturbing goal for my wife.”

β€œIf you run away playing the flute, people will follow you.”

β€œ(Awahneechee culture) is a way of looking at yourself through different eyes.”

“Three months in Africa is like three years in Italy — especially if you’re in Florence.”

β€œ(Wildlife that habituate to humans are suffering) death on the installment plan.”

β€œRock is never the same. It’s always changing because of pressure. I’d have a severe personality crisis if I were a rock.”

β€œGranite is a story written by the sky.”

Click Here for Shelton Johnson and the Buffalo Soldiers: ‘Spokesperson for the Dead’